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He hates how he hears her shuffle away, back downstairs to share in whispery gossip with his old man. He’s more forceful this time, pushing her back as he screams in her face. “Out,” he grounds out through clenched teeth. He's already swimming in his damn guilt he doesn't need to drown in it too. Talking doesn't do anything but bring up the worst of his feelings. He’d thought she’d know by now, considering how many therapists he’s gone through because of her. Talk about it? Talk about he had to fight off a bunch of weak-ass villains only to be confronted with his dead childhood friend? Yeah, Katsuki Bakugou didn’t do ‘talks’. “Do you want to talk about today? Your father and I were really worried about you.” “Not unless you want it ending like all the other ones. He flinches at the mention of the t-word but hides it with a dark scowl. “Do I need to call in another therapist?” “Seriously, is everything okay up here?” Her lips pull back into a disapproving frown. Instead, she leans over his bed, putting herself in his personal space, just like she always does. “Fuck off, old hag,” he grumbles, waving his hand at her to leave him to his thoughts.Įxcept she didn’t. He doesn’t even turn toward the door when the old hag breaks it open with her foot.
Maybe he should have been more discreet about punching the wall again. He should have seen it coming from a mile away.įamiliar stomping breaks him from his thoughts. The villain’s attack was just a fucking diversion to get to All Might. Tired fingers rub at the dark circles underneath his eyes.
He shakes his head, banishing the memories into the furthest corners of his mind. He can still hear their judgment, still feel their pity after his extended break from classes after Deku’s. He presses both palms to his ears, trying to will the bullshit away. The whispers of his former middle school classmates echo through his mind. If anything, he’s worse, because now that fucking dipshit was alive and how was he going to explain this to anyone? He’s the only one who heard the fool speak. Hates how despite apologizing, he doesn’t feel any different. Hates how the shame of his actions over the past few years cling to his self-esteem, that no matter how many successes he has, getting into UA, getting to the highest score in his class-they pale in comparison to the shitty things he’s done to Deku. Hates how weak he is that he couldn’t save the pathetic idiot from sacrificing himself not once, but twice.
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The charred, cracked imprint of his anger matches the others along his bedside wall it is, as his dumbass middle school art teacher would say, a collage to his emotional state. The nitroglycerin sparks and smokes in his hand, fizzling out seconds later. Anger, sadness, and other feelings he can’t quite explain filter through. He grits his teeth until he could no longer restrain himself.Ī loud bang resonates as his fist smashes into the wall.
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He isn’t sure how to feel about that-about any of this really.
The nickname he long thought dead and buried has been resurrected. Never-ending, repetitive, only reminding him of his failures. Despite everything, the boy left with the warp bastard, his last words ringing in Bakugou’s ears like a stupid ass pop song. The sentences taste like ashes against his lips now. Dek–Izuku, about what happened before, I can’t, fuck how do I put this into words. Guilt curdles in his gut, intestines twisting and turning as he recalls what he said earlier today. Bakugou rolls to the side of his bed, the waves of nausea unrelenting.
His stomach gurgles in response to his thoughts. No matter how much time passes, Deku still somehow manages to piss him the fuck off. and I’m gonna read it again (cuz once wasn’t enough), ✰ <100k Fav Fics Bnha ✰, Great Fics i Want To Re Read, RandomFanfictionsE.g.Anime_2BeRead, BNHA Rereadables 📓, MyHero: Nomu!Deku, Ernand's Reading fics, MHA AUs, Bnha ongoing fics, Worth It BNHA Fanfics Reading List - Ongoing Stats: Published: Updated: Words: 53515 Chapters: 9/? Comments: 1227 Kudos: 10987 Bookmarks: 1936 Hits: 241414
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